Frivolous

There are a million matters of serious concern flowing through my mind..mostly about her..and how i should be there..how i feel all type and no action regarding being in her life at this most important time...i don't have the money to go though,or the liberty to leave my job for even a week.so i stay.
My birthday is next month..and I'm only thinking about how i wish she'd make it to 21 and of how wasted my life has been thus far and wondering how she'd utilize these precious years if she had the option of living them.40% chance of survival..how do you deliver that news to a 17 year old,how do you even as a professional begin to formulate that thought in your mind and not want to cry in a corner rather then relay it to her.

i need to be silly and cruel and think only of myself to keep from thinking at all...
so here's some material junk i desire but don't need:








If i could find these..and steal them because i refuse to pay an arm and a leg..i would be the happiest chick on earth..for at least like a day.